


Safe Place

by ahappyphil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Isle of Man, M/M, Post BIG
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2019-08-15
Packaged: 2020-09-01 16:37:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20261194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/pseuds/ahappyphil
Summary: The Isle of Man is warm and unseasonably sunny, or maybe it’s just Kath. Maybe her maternal glow just radiates off this little island.





	Safe Place

The Isle of Man is warm and unseasonably sunny, or maybe it’s just Kath. Maybe her maternal glow just radiates off this little island. 

Phil had relayed the message from her that his presence this trip was mandatory. She threw in the “it’s my birthday” guilt trip, but if Dan’s honest it was unnecessary. He’d secretly been craving some time on the Isle, more specifically some time with what has become his second family. 

The past two months have been a whirlwind to say the least. 

He’s out. 

They’re out.

It’s not as scary as he’d built it up to be, and the outpouring of love has been overwhelming. As much as he loved and appreciated the support from friends, subscribers, and family, Dan still needed some time with one of the few people who’s made him feel secure and loved for so many years. 

Maybe it was a rocky start, with Phil essentially dropping his own sexuality and a new relationship in one go. Dan doesn’t hold a grudge though. Despite the initial weariness, they were always kind and always welcoming. He gives them credit for how soon they came around once they saw how happy Phil was. 

The bond he formed with the Lesters means so much to him. They were a safe place where he felt accepted and welcomed, every part of him.

He loves his mum, he does. The older he gets the more he sees how much of their relationship was just him pushing her away out of fear. They’re working on it; it’s getting better. 

But Kath…

Maybe it was easier because she knew. Maybe Dan didn’t feel the need to have his walls up when she’d already proven his trust. 

*

The minute they walk in the front door, she’s pulling them both into a massive hug. A bit awkward as she tries to wrap her arms around them simultaneously while they both squat to meet her height. 

He can already smell the cakes coming from the kitchen. He looks around and sees the family photos scattered on various tables and walls, some of which he’s in. Dozens of memories that he’s so grateful to have been a part of. This place is just such a _ home _. 

He and Phil head upstairs to their room. Because that’s what it is, theirs. It may function as a guest room for most of the year, but there are touches that are uniquely Dan and Phil- various souvenirs from holidays, Phil’s childhood blanket, a piece of fanart Kath demanded to keep because “her boys looked so handsome in it”. 

Maybe part of the charm of being here is the constant little reminders of how much of himself is woven in these walls, in this family. He’s not a guest or an outsider like he so often feels in his own childhood home; he’s one of them. 

*

Despite protests from everyone, Kath insisted on making her own birthday cake. “It keeps me young, and I don’t trust you lot to not write something offensive!” 

She shoots a pointed look at Dan’s direction and he can hear Phil grumble with embarrassment at being reminded of the great Philussy debacle. 

Once it’s been served and everyone is full on coffee and sweets, they sit and laugh and reminisce. He knows how much Phil loves this, how much he soaks in this particular kind of domesticality. 

Dan sits up to start collecting the dirty dishes, ever keen on being the most polite and well mannered version of himself around the family. 

He figures Phil may also want some alone time with him mum, and now that Nigel has excused himself he knows they’ll want to do their usual catching up on neighborhood gossip and whatever show Kath has roped him into watching. He really is a mama’s boy. 

However, just as he gets the words out of his mouth that he’ll be in the kitchen, Kath throws her hands up. 

“Actually dear, I think Phil should handle those”

Phil looks over with shock and horror, like he’s all ready to protest before she gives him a look that Dan’s sure she’s mastered over 30 years of having two boys. 

“It’s my birthday and I want my youngest child to do the washing up”

Phil seems to know better than to argue, and there’s something else there. The way he looks at his mother like he understands something Dan doesn’t. 

Kath turns her attention to him with an expression that can only be described as “you’re about to get mothered”

Feeling slightly uncomfortable all of a sudden, Dan shifts in his seat. It’s like a spotlight has appeared on his face. 

Of course Kath knew he was planning to come out. She knew almost two years ago when he’d confided in her over Christmas that he was ready, and she cheered him on during his birthday phone call when he said it would finally be released that week after a year of ‘almost’ and ‘not yet’.

It’s not like he didn’t assume she would watch. He got a text that night from both her and Nigel congratulating him. 

He’d just hoped that would be the end of the conversation. 

“You know, I didn’t know what to expect really…When I watched your video”

Dan is fully prepared to jump out of the nearest window. It’s one thing for millions of strangers to hear your most vulnerable moments, but this is a new level of nakedness. 

There’s nothing like the fear of knowing your partner’s parents have heard you utter the phrase “I like dick” to millions of people. 

“Daniel, I am so sorry. What you went through was horrible”

Oh. Guess that’s not the part she focused on…

Before he can come up with an excuse or change the subject, she continues. 

“You are an incredibly remarkable young man, you know that? You’d mention you had a rough go of it, but I had no idea...I.” She’s tearing up like she’s reliving it herself. That kind of maternal empathy that can only come from someone special. 

“We love you so much, and I’m eternally grateful you and Phil found each other. I can’t imagine anyone better for my son”

If he wasn’t already aware of the tears welling up in his eyes, that surely did it. 

“When he brought you home, I didn’t take it as well as I’d hope. I..”

“It’s fine, honestly”

“No. It’s not. It’s not fine that you ever felt that who you are is wrong. What you went through...I just wish I could have done something to take that hurt away.”

He quickly makes his way over to sit next to her on the couch to grab her hands. Because this is far more important than being a polite in-law. He’s fully crying as well, but it feels more comforting than exposing. 

“You did more for me than you’ll ever bloody know. You let me in your home and you made me feel like I was okay..like I was safe. You always treated me like I mattered, even when I was a moody teenage twat.”

She lets out a wet chuckle as he squeezes her hands even tighter, like he’s trying to convey a decades worth of emotion in a single touch. 

“I’ve always thought of you as a second mum and you’ve always treated me like one of your own.”

“Oh Daniel, you are mine. You’re stuck with us now, dear.” 

She gestures behind her. “Can’t find anyone else who will put up with that one’s sweet tooth.” 

Dan dries his tears as he lets out a guffaw. 

“Love you, Kath”

“I love you too, dear. I’m so proud of you”

She gets up and ushers him to kitchen.

“Now, that’s enough blubbering. I’ve got something for you.”

*  
They find Phil still elbows deep in suds. He doesn’t act like he’d heard their conversation, which Dan is grateful for. He can’t handle more Lester sad eyes.

Kath comes back with a box, perfectly wrapped in shiny black paper and a glitter bow on top. 

He gently unwraps it like it’s a precious artifact. He briefly wonders how Phil managed to not pick up a single ounce of her decorating ability. 

Inside is a three wick candle, with colors layered to make a rainbow. It smells like the sea, almost identical to the one that’s just a short walk away from here. There’s no label and no sticker. 

As he inspects it in awe, she pipes up.

“I had it custom made from someone in town. I’ve been told you’re quite the candle fan. And the color...well...I just wanted to tell you how happy I am for you.”

He places it gently on the table and engulfs her tiny frame.

“It’s absolutely perfect.” The words come out as a whisper. “Thank you so much.”

“Thought it’d be nice for the new place.” 

He turns to Phil, who’s currently inspecting it. “It’s literally the only thing I care about.”

Phil smirks and rolls his eyes. “Oh, shut up.” He gives Dan a little shove. 

“Philip, you be nice to my Dan. He’s a good boy.” 

“Mum, I came out too ya know!”

She pinches his cheeks and pats his back “Yes child, I know. I’m very proud of you too.” 

*

The candle is one of the first things they unpack. He places it right on the mantle of their new fireplace next to their own budding collection of family photos. 

Phil says it’s pretty, which means it’s tackier than Dan would usually allow for his personal aesthetic, but he loves it too much to care. It’s a nice reminder of how far he’s come and the support system that helped him along the way. 

It really does smell of the sea, enough to bring back memories of family walks and laughter over board games every time he catches a whiff. 

He loves the Isle. Loves the the fresh ocean air and the way it makes him feel lighter, like his problems aren’t quite as heavy and his brain isn’t so bogged down. He loves how sitting by the cliffs feels like taking a deep breath. But most importantly, he loves his family.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to @alittledizzy for beta work and being generally encouraging:)
> 
> Reblog [here](https://ahappydnp.tumblr.com/post/187034835146/safe-place-g-17k-summary-the-isle-of-man-is)


End file.
